DEAR MAN

For when you want something and are willing to negotiate for it.

1. Describe - Describe the situation objectively. This means sticking to the facts by avoiding opinion and interpretation. The goal is to get everyone on the same page.
2. Express - Let others know how a situation makes you feel by clearly expressing your feelings. Don’t expect others to read your mind. Try using this line: “I feel ___ because .”
3. Assert - Don’t beat around the bush—say what you need to say. Don’t say: “Oh, well, I don’t know if I can cook tonight or not.” Do say: “I won’t be able to cook because I’m working late.”
4. Reinforce - Reward people who respond well, and reinforce why your desired outcome is positive. This can be as simple as a smile and a “thank you”.
5. Mindful - Don’t forget the objective of the interaction. It can be easy to get sidetracked into harmful arguments and lose focus.
6. Appear confident - Consider your posture, tone, eye contact, and body language.
7. Negotiate -No one can have everything they want out of an interaction all the time. Be open to negotiation. Do say: “If you wash the dishes, I’ll put them away.”